Reverse Claw Installation

Posted in Hammer OS in use on October 8, 2014 by Neil Robinson
The unorthodox "Claw it Open" installation method

The unorthodox “Claw it Open” installation method

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Hammer OS is Cracked.com Approved

Posted in Hammer OS in use with tags , , , , , on August 19, 2011 by Neil Robinson
Cracked.com runs Hammer OS (on this system at least)

The example of Hammer OS in operation is present under #5. Expect One More Person for Dinner

It is rare that I discover items related to Hammer OS unless I am specifically trawling through the dark and murky pools of the Internet for such content.

This is why I was pleased to find this fresh installation of the versatile operating system at Cracked.com. Some may argue that Cracked.com isn’t exactly purified water, but it is nothing like some of the cesspits I’ve had the misfortune to stumble into. 

Cracked.com don’t explicitly mention Hammer OS in the article, but they are so explicit about everything else that I’m sure they felt a little subtlety might make a nice change.

Review: The HAMMER Filesystem

Posted in Hammer OS reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by Neil Robinson

Normal operating systems need a file system. Although Hammer OS is no way normal, and a file system is not a requirement, providing a file system would allow Hammer OS to reach more specialised customers.

When we discovered The HAMMER Filesystem, we hoped that it would be a match made in a Wrecking Yard.

The HAMMER Filesystem has, sadly, let us down. Let’s explore the reasons why.

No actual hammers in sight — only bugsDragonFly Bug Splatter Distribution
The HAMMER Filesystem doesn’t have a logo, and it’s made for an operating system named after a hovering, water-obsessed, compound-eyed insect — DragonFlyBSD.  A heavy, blunt weapon-file system for a squishy, invertebrate-operating system. It just doesn’t make a lot of sense how the two can mix without the insect part coming out significantly flatter.

The only possibility we can think of is that the HAMMER Filesystem is intended to stamp out all the bugs in DragonFlyBSD, but I don’t think that’s how file systems really work.

Designed for large storage media
The HAMMER Filesystem needs large media, and at first we really liked this feature. Hammer OS is versatile, but large scale installations are where we really have the most impact — especially with big hammers. Big HAMMER Filesystem would need a Big Hammer OS install, and things just seemed so perfect.

When they cautioned the user against putting the HAMMER Filesystem on partitions smaller that 40Gb, we were ecstatic. But when we noticed a mention of “historic data retention,” we began to despair. Historic data retention isn’t compatible with Hammer OS’s philosophy of simplifying technology. The more info you store up in these massive file systems, with exhaustive redundancy, the more you have to lose when catastrophic failure strikes, taking that redundancy with it in one foul swooping pan-continental nuclear disaster.

That’s no good at all, just waiting on tenter hooks for the data-loss catastrophe to hit. Better to take control and destroy secure all your data on your own terms, with Hammer OS.

Conclusion
The HAMMER Filesystem is a misnomer. There are no hammers anywhere, and it doesn’t even behave in the way one would expect a hammer to.

If you are looking for reliability and data retention, stray only to the HAMMER Filesystem-side if you want endless anxiety that nuclear war and the subsequent loss of civilisation will destroy all your precious data.

If you want a worry-free existence, even in the case of Armageddon, look no further than Hammer OS for your data storage needs.

Who needs Eskom when you’ve got Hammer OS?

Posted in Hammer OS howto with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by Neil Robinson

Hammer BulbFor those of you who get your Hammer OS news in South Africa, you might be thinking ahead to winter with some trepidation.

Eskom, the national electricity provider, has problems meeting the country’s electrical demand. They’ve started investing heavily in building new power stations, but it’s going to take a while before the supply catches up with demand.

Until then, there will be many power outages, and power outages are a thing that South Africans get very charged up about.

Avoid all the frustration of losing electrical power unexpectedly. Install Hammer OS, and never let another power failure take you by surprise again.

Just install Hammer OS on every electrical appliance in your home or business. Hammer OS requires absolutely no electrical power. In fact, once you’ve installed Hammer OS, we recommend you keep appliances away from live wires due to the potential fire hazard.

Once everything is running Hammer OS you’ll never suffer from downtime again as you learn to function as productively as your ancestors did before the industrial revolution.

Hammer OS — Saving you from the Apocalypse

Posted in Hammer OS howto with tags , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by Neil Robinson

Hammer ApocalypseWith their finances crashing around them, some people may feel that the Apocalypse is just around the corner, and that there really is no way to escape one’s plight.

Once again Hammer OS helps us survive adversity, even when we think things are at their very worse!

The comic to the left illustrates what you should do when confronted by alien beings/demons intent on destroying the earth.

Most planet plundering entities support Hammer OS!

Hammer OS Certified Systems Engineer

Posted in Hammer OS in use, Hammer OS legends with tags , , , , , , on January 15, 2009 by Neil Robinson
Hammer OS Chuck has a huge... hammer

Hammer OS Chuck has a huge... hammer

Not just anyone can become a HOCSE. It takes dedication, determination, and life-long commitment.

To date, there is only one person who has what it takes. His name is Dave Pahl or, as we here at Hammer OS corporate headquarters like to call him, Hammer OS Chuck.

This man has installed Hammer OS on more objects than we have names for, and he has a specialised hammer for almost every single one of those items.

If you are struggling to install Hammer OS on something, unlikely as that may be, talk to Hammer OS Chuck. If he doesn’t have the right hammer to install the customised version of Hammer OS you need, then it can’t be done.

Hammer OS — Keeping your data safe!

Posted in Hammer OS in use with tags , , , , , , , on January 9, 2009 by Neil Robinson

"Hard drive meet sledge hammer..." by pQbonFrom the Beeb

The only way to stop fraudsters stealing information from old computer hard drives is by destroying them completely, a study has found.

The most straightforward solution, according to Which?, is complete destruction – and it recommends using a hammer.

Sounds like they recommend installing Hammer OS. Hammer OS is clearly the operating system of choice for data security. Data so secure no-one can access it — not even you!