Archive for hammer os

Who needs Eskom when you’ve got Hammer OS?

Posted in Hammer OS howto with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by Neil Robinson

Hammer BulbFor those of you who get your Hammer OS news in South Africa, you might be thinking ahead to winter with some trepidation.

Eskom, the national electricity provider, has problems meeting the country’s electrical demand. They’ve started investing heavily in building new power stations, but it’s going to take a while before the supply catches up with demand.

Until then, there will be many power outages, and power outages are a thing that South Africans get very charged up about.

Avoid all the frustration of losing electrical power unexpectedly. Install Hammer OS, and never let another power failure take you by surprise again.

Just install Hammer OS on every electrical appliance in your home or business. Hammer OS requires absolutely no electrical power. In fact, once you’ve installed Hammer OS, we recommend you keep appliances away from live wires due to the potential fire hazard.

Once everything is running Hammer OS you’ll never suffer from downtime again as you learn to function as productively as your ancestors did before the industrial revolution.

Advertisements

Hammer OS — Saving you from the Apocalypse

Posted in Hammer OS howto with tags , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by Neil Robinson

Hammer ApocalypseWith their finances crashing around them, some people may feel that the Apocalypse is just around the corner, and that there really is no way to escape one’s plight.

Once again Hammer OS helps us survive adversity, even when we think things are at their very worse!

The comic to the left illustrates what you should do when confronted by alien beings/demons intent on destroying the earth.

Most planet plundering entities support Hammer OS!

Hammer OS Certified Systems Engineer

Posted in Hammer OS in use, Hammer OS legends with tags , , , , , , on January 15, 2009 by Neil Robinson
Hammer OS Chuck has a huge... hammer

Hammer OS Chuck has a huge... hammer

Not just anyone can become a HOCSE. It takes dedication, determination, and life-long commitment.

To date, there is only one person who has what it takes. His name is Dave Pahl or, as we here at Hammer OS corporate headquarters like to call him, Hammer OS Chuck.

This man has installed Hammer OS on more objects than we have names for, and he has a specialised hammer for almost every single one of those items.

If you are struggling to install Hammer OS on something, unlikely as that may be, talk to Hammer OS Chuck. If he doesn’t have the right hammer to install the customised version of Hammer OS you need, then it can’t be done.

Hammer OS — Keeping your data safe!

Posted in Hammer OS in use with tags , , , , , , , on January 9, 2009 by Neil Robinson

"Hard drive meet sledge hammer..." by pQbonFrom the Beeb

The only way to stop fraudsters stealing information from old computer hard drives is by destroying them completely, a study has found.

The most straightforward solution, according to Which?, is complete destruction – and it recommends using a hammer.

Sounds like they recommend installing Hammer OS. Hammer OS is clearly the operating system of choice for data security. Data so secure no-one can access it — not even you!

Hammer OS Improves Fuel Efficiency

Posted in Hammer OS in use with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2009 by Neil Robinson
Gas guzzler no more!

Gas guzzler no more! (From gwhatchet.com)

Although more complicated than standard installations of Hammer OS, a motor vehicle installation has clear financial benefits. In this harsh economic climate, everyone is looking for some way to save money.

Carrying out a full installation of Hammer OS on your car will reduce your fuel consumption by 100%. That’s absolutely right! You’ll never have to put petrol or diesel into your car — ever again!

But that’s not all!

Once you’ve completed the full installation of Hammer OS, your car is guaranteed to be a write-off. That means your insurance company will pay you out for your “loss.” Just make sure they believe that someone else installed everyone’s favourite percussionary operating system on your car.

So, not only do you save on fuel, Hammer OS (with the cooperation of your insurance company) provides you with free bus or train fare!

Hammer OS, simplifying technology (and travel) once again!

Windows RG

Posted in Hammer OS competitors with tags , , , , , , on January 5, 2009 by Neil Robinson

Who’s going to use Hammer OS now that Windows (Really Good Edition) is available?

Windows RG has almost the same feature set, but a much stronger trademark than Hammer OS!

Install HammerOS on a chocolate easter bunny

Posted in Hammer OS howto with tags , , , , on October 8, 2008 by Neil Robinson

What you need:

  • 1 x hammer
  • 1 x chocolate easter bunny
  • 1 x installation surface